Shoulder to shoulder on men's mental health

On any given Friday night, Dave Harrison can be found welcoming the men of Corowa into the federation railway station for a yarn. It’s a ritual Dave’s been part of since joining Amaranth Foundation a few years back and he loves it just as much as he loves a chat.

These nights are kept deliberately unstructured so there is room for men to talk about whatever is on their minds. In summer, the group will sit on the old platform and enjoy a barbecue and in winter they’ll stand around a firepit. Because, if there’s one thing Dave knows to be true, it’s that men don’t want to talk about their worries eye to eye.

“The best conversations I've had with other men are leaning on the back of a ute, looking at what's out and around you. I think if you want to talk to a man, you get shoulder to shoulder. You're looking at a crop, you're looking at a river, you're sitting in a car. Dealing with women is more eye to eye but I’ve found men don't like that. You have to be side by side so shoulder to shoulder is how we've approached it.”

Dave works with and is on the board of Corowa’s Amaranth Foundation – a not-for-profit organisation providing social, emotional and psychological support to rural and regional communities – and he is a driving force behind Friday Night at the Station and Men’s Table, two programs focused on men’s mental health.

As an Aussie Rules referee, keen golfer and during his 34-year career in agribusiness, Dave has spent a lot of time around men and has come to know well the risk factors to their wellbeing.

Since retiring from his role in production management at a largescale piggery in 2020, Dave has taken his interest in rural men’s mental health to new levels.

“If you work with a large group of men in an agricultural setting, you gain an increased awareness of the risk factors for rural men. There were a couple of incidents with workmates that brought it home to me that this is a big problem and requires people to not only be aware of it, but to take some action as well,” Dave said.

“When I retired, we went straight into COVID lockdown and my wife, Debbie, and I couldn’t really do the things we planned to do. There was a heightened level of stress, especially in the male community in Corowa, and I thought you can either sit around on social media and whinge about being locked down or you can try and help.

“Over the years, I’d been aware of Amaranth and its activities, so I wandered in there and said, ‘I’ve got a bit of time. Can I do some volunteering?’ CEO Julianne Whyte embraced that, and we immediately restarted the men’s group.”

Working with Amaranth in the past three years, Dave has found new ways to bring men shoulder to shoulder, like going on fishing trips, bringing together a regular motorbike group and starting the Corowa branch of The Men’s Table in 2022 as a safe place for men to share their stories and be heard in a confidential and non-judgmental environment.

Dave also played a role in the Black Summer Bushfire recovery efforts. When Amaranth received a Murrumbidgee Primary Health Network grant to provide bushfire recovery in the Snowy Valley, Dave was on the ground, delivering food parcels and putting people in contact with counsellors and other support services.

“Amaranth is a plucky little service provider, and its model is to have one or two people on the ground, with a whole lot of resources in the background. I don’t have to be a mental health expert because there’s one just a phone call away.”

Health wake-up call

While he may not be a social worker or counsellor, Dave knows the importance of taking care of your mental and physical health.

A few workplace incidents and being a first responder to a major car accident had impacted Dave’s mental health and speaking to a counsellor helped him understand why he was reacting in the way he was. He has also dealt with a cancer diagnosis which left him feeling differently about himself and men’s health.

“I basically thought I was indestructible. I keep fit. I’ve never smoked. I have a few beers occasionally but spend a lot of time outdoors. I thought I was healthy. An out of the blue blood test showed I had a slightly raised marker. Within a month, I’m sitting in front of a specialist telling me I have Stage One prostate cancer.

“It opens up a whole host of things to deal with. The physical impacts are a bit scary. When they start telling you there’s a 50:50 chance of incontinence and a chance of erectile dysfunction, a lot of things play on your mind.

“Fortunately, I can absorb a lot of data and had my family and some associates who had been through it to talk to. I decided to have the surgery and 18 months later that has proven to be the right decision for me, but going from being what I thought was bombproof to waking up in intensive care with heaps of tubes coming out of you is a wakeup call. It’s amazing to me how many men go through prostate cancer treatment without anyone knowing.” 

Looking out for each other

Dave thinks the Men’s Table idea of bringing people together to talk would be a great model for other issues like prostate cancer, grief and separation.

“I think when you live in a community, you have a responsibility to be aware of what’s going on around you. If you’re aware someone is struggling, reach out. It can’t hurt to ask if they’re okay, but it can hurt not to ask. You don’t have to fix any problems straight away, just listen with empathy and help them to connect to the services they need.

“I don’t like it when people say that someone is having issues and they never realised. People should realise. We need to look out for each other. There may come a time late at night when your phone rings and you can make all the difference by picking up. We need more people to pick up that phone.” 

Anyone who is experiencing a mental health emergency (themselves or others) should call Mental Health Line 1800 011 511, Lifeline 13 11 14 or call 000. The Prostate Cancer Counselling Service is available on 1800 220 099.